Men’s Shed – A resource for men of all ages to come together for connection, growth and well-being.

I was first introduced to Men’s Shed through my neighbour, Doug Mackie. Doug was instrumental in establishing the Men’s Shed in Woodhaven. He raved about the support and camaraderie that developed between the men and the noticeable shifts in well-being for those who attended.

I got a great sense that Doug was proud of the work and fellowship the organization had provided for him, and he welcomed my son and I to experience it for an afternoon. 

While there, I witnessed laughter, joking, quiet conversation and comforting support from the attendees.  Some folks were using an array of whittling tools to make walking sticks, while others worked on various projects they brought from home. Doug shared that people were welcome to engage however they wished. He just hoped, people would come and experience a sense of community. 

It’s been approximately 15 years since I was there that day, and I see the organization continues to grow. Thank you Doug!

Here is an excerpt from the Men’s Shed website:

Our Sheds are as diverse as the members who join them, reflecting a wide range of interests from woodworking and metalworking to gardening, technology, and more. Regardless of your ability or background, there is a place for you here. New members are always welcome, and there’s something of interest for everyone, thanks to the shared ownership and direction of our activities and projects.

The purpose of Men’s Sheds goes beyond hobbies and crafts; it’s about advancing the health and well-being of men. In our Sheds, men find a safe and supportive space to talk, listen, and connect, which has profound effects on mental and emotional health. This grassroots movement has grown from its Australian origins to touch the lives of men across the globe, proving that the need for connection, purpose, and community is universal.

Couples Counselling / Couples Therapy

As a couple’s therapist, I often hear questions and concerns like:

“How can we improve our relationship when one of us feels like our wheels are spinning, while the other person doesn’t seem to care?”

“We’re both feeling resentful. How do we change things?”

“One of us is angry all the time, while the other checks out or shuts down during conversations.”

These are very common concerns. Often, couples find themselves caught in a pattern, cycle, or loop that overshadows their hopes they once had for their relationship.

The important thing to remember is that two people can love and care deeply for one another, yet still find themselves responding to each other in ways that aren’t helpful. Over time, these interactions can become familiar and difficult to change.

One key to changing this cycle is learning to recognize it.

A common example is the pursue-withdraw cycle: one partner reaches for connection, answers, or reassurance, while the other feels overwhelmed and withdraws, shuts down, or avoids the conversation. The more one person pursues, the more the other withdraws — and the more the other withdraws, the more urgently their partner may pursue.

This can be painful and lonely for both people. Over time, hurt and unmet needs can build into frustration, disconnection, and resentment.

Couples therapy can help partners slow this cycle down, understand what is happening underneath the behaviours, and identify the patterns that keep them stuck. Once couples can recognize the cycle as something they are both caught in, rather than seeing one another as the problem, they can begin to work together as a team.  And sometimes, couples find their relationship feels even stronger and more connected, than before.

How Can We Think About Our Relationship and Its Current Functioning?

When thinking about your relationship, it can be helpful to consider different areas of your partnership. This includes, but not limited to:

• Communication: How do we talk to one another, especially when things are difficult?

• Quality time: Are we making intentional, one-on-one time that’s technology-free?

• Time apart: Do we each have space for our own hobbies, interests, friendships, and sense of self?

• Intimacy: How are we nurturing our emotional and physical intimacy?

• Friends and family: Do we both have meaningful social connections and support outside of our relationship?  What about inside our relationship? Who do we have out with as a couple and how do we spend our time?

• Caregiving and childcare: How are responsibilities being shared, and do both partners feel supported?

It’s common for partners to have different needs in these areas.  One person may need more time alone, while the other may want more time together.  One may prioritize physical intimacy, while the other needs more emotional connection before feeling close.

Neither individual is necessarily, right or wrong. The goal isn’t for partners to have identical needs as this isn’t likely possible; the goal is to work toward understanding and respecting each others needs while finding solutions that work for the relationship.

Life can bring many competing demands: children, work, health concerns, caregiving for parents, and the many responsibilities that come with everyday life. In the midst of all of this, it can be easy for a relationship to move to the bottom of the list. But our partnerships matter, and unless we’re zooming in, it can go off the rails fairly quickly, or so slowly and insidiously, we don’t notice until it feels like it might be too late.

Making space for connection, understanding, and care can help couples feel like they are facing life together, rather than facing each other.

Sometimes, the first step toward change is simply recognizing the cycle — and deciding that you want to find a different way forward, together.